April Fool’s Stock Terms

This post is more about wit than investing, with yesterday being the April Fool’s holiday in the United States, I thought I would have a little fun.

Why is it that the individual in charge of your money is called a broker when it seems like we are the ones broke?

Why would we call stocks and bonds securities when they are aren’t really that secure?

Why do we measure goodwill as a tangible asset only when a stock gains income but call it an impairment when the company looses money?

Why is a bull market filled with optimism, when more often than not, it is filled with BS?

Why do market leaders fear a bear market, when usually this is a bearer of good profit tidings in the next few years?

Why is debt called margin and not simply debt?

Why do the markets use the term settlements to describe a transaction occurring but don’t require attorneys for settlements?

What is another term you hear in the stock market that seems to mean something different than what it means?  Let me know what you find strange.